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High Touch Article - My real interest not just sex in sexwork
09-27-2009, 03:25 PM
Post: #1
High Touch Article - My real interest not just sex in sexwork
As folks know that follow my Canadian reviews and my website, my interest has much less to do with sex than caring touch intimacy. And it can be "caring touch intimacy" for the moment with someone liked minded I just meet, not having to be in a lasting relationship, although that would be nice also.

That is why I enjoy the nude-reverse massage places and the full contact nude strip clubs in Canada where I get to explore my quality touch/massage interests usually with great response. Like I did in the Phoenix strip clubs before the 1998 law changes. I simply have not found such connections in Phoenix or at least not at an affordable cost and usually options like reverse are not even heard of in Phoenix massage options vs so common and no legal issues in Canada.

Related to my site (have not found the right female to develop my workshop ideas but have also been too busy trying to survive financially to seriously develop ideas), this is the highlights of an e-mail received which quotes an article from 1990 someone found valuable:

Dear Dave,
Here is the article by counsellour Roger Young that got published in Australian Sun & Health in 1990 about the importance of human touch and how it relates to the health and wellbeing of fellow humans.

Roger wrote several insightful articles for the magazine in the early 90's, but I don't know where he is today. I also did this talk for the Antioch Christian Youth group when I was involved with it in 1990, and it went down very well with them. I have also sent this to a few other friends of mine who are either interested in the 'alternative' healing arts, and some whom I haven't spoken to for some time whom I think could benefit from information like this.

This article is printed verbatim, and I hope it will be of help to both of you. (Dave is editing down to highlights)

"Our sense of touch is a powerful means of communication. It can soothe, comfort, excite, encourage, or enrage. It can express love, warmth, affection, understanding, acceptance, approval, or alternatively anger, fear, or rejection.

The sad thing in our Western culture is, possibly because of our conservative British background, we have learned that touching in public is almost forbidden. Couples in Australia and New Zealand have been arrested for expressing passionate affection in public. It is because we do not know where to draw the line and have therefore become scared to touch even when we should? Eastern cultures are even worse. A friend of ours, visiting Palestine, was nearly arrested when she gave her boyfriend a peck on the cheek when visiting a Muslim mosque. In Indonesia recently a couple were sent to prison for one month for kissing in public.

Possibly this British cultural hang up had a lot to do with the almost forgotten nudist club rule of 'no touching'. ...Fortunately this fear of touching is now a thing of the forgotten past in most clubs. Nude dancing is no longer unheard of. And the couples on our free beaches tend, in general, to be more open with touching and expressing affection than couples on textile beaches. Or worse still, when young people on textile beaches do begin touching their behaviour is sometimes crudely suggestive.

This fear of touching is not common to all cultures. One writer records the results of a study on the differences between contact and non contact cultures. The study was conducted by an S.M Jourard, who 'watched couples in restaurants and cafes around the world, and noted how many times they touched each other in the course of an hour'. The results: in London, not even once; in Gainesville Florida, twice; in Paris, 110 times; and San Juan, Puerto Rica, up to 180 times.

Somehow, in our Anglo-Saxon culture we cannot seem to separate human contact from sexuality. But in failing to do so, we impoverish all our close relationships. Certainly touch is essential to sexuality, but it much more than that. There is increasing medical evidence that touch is essential to our physical and emotional health, and that the taboos against touching in our society may be a major course of stress, depression, anxiety, illness and even violence.

I suggest the recent rise in popularity of massage parlours is largely because business men and women working in high stress jobs are realising the sense of relaxation that comes from just being touched. And many men are going to these places simply because they do not get affectionate touching and massage from their own partners.

If we had to pass exams to qualify for a marriage licence, the same as we do for a driver's licence or a pilot's licence, I would strongly recommend that two compulsory subjects could be communication dialogue and relaxation massage.

Without physical contact there is a kind of emptiness, an inner craving, or hunger which food cannot satisfy. One research writer tells of an experiment at a public library. The librarian co-operated by using two different techniques when processing outgoing borrowed books. In the first instance she simply stamped the book and handed it back to the borrower, carefully avoiding any physical contact. In the second part of the experiment, each time she handed back the book to a borrower she allowed some contact to be made, even as simply as brushing the borrower's hand as the book was taken.

An assistant just outside the library, pretending to be concerned with a questionnaire on how the library functioned, asked borrowers as the left for an appraisal of the library services. They discovered that when the librarian allowed that little touch, no matter how brief, she was appreciated as being warmer and more understanding than on those occasions when she did not touch.

But at the other extreme, many of us can identify with that feeling of revulsion when an overzealous and oily salesperson gets too familiar and touches on the hand, arm or shoulder. Although touch is vital to our sense of well being, for it to have a positive effect, it must express a genuine interest in the touched one as an individual person, and not as a victim.

Scientific experiments have shown that all warm blooded animals have an innate need to be touched, and that among the effects of sensory deprivation are loss of appetite, slower than normal growth, a decline in intelligence, and abnormal behavioural patterns.

Researchers at the university of Wisconsin took baby monkeys from their mothers at birth and raised them in separate cages. The monkeys could see, hear, and chatter with each other but were never permitted physical contact with other monkeys or with their keepers. The result was a group of deeply disturbed monkeys showing autistic, hyperactive, and self-destructive behaviour patterns. In similar experiments it has been shown that when these monkeys reached adulthood, they would react with hysteria or violence when approached sexually by another adult monkey, even of the opposite sex.

Research has also shown that physical touching is just as essential for human infants. Children and young people who have experienced sufficient touching and hugging tend to be more open, warm and relaxed. Those who don't tend to be withdrawn, live in a fantasy world, and even become hostile.

Certainly there are dangers in touching. We read just too much of children who have been traumatised by very sick so-called "adults". But that is no reason for us to over-react. There is a much greater danger in refusing to touch, for in so doing we rob ourselves and our loved ones of an essential God given means of communication, love, warmth, approval and acceptance."

Promoting Intimacy and Positive Sexuality with honesty and integrity
Esalen massage - integrating with one another in love -"heartfelt touch"
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